after
The stock market crashed almost 100 years ago. Yes, many people find history dull but bear with me. The stock market crash affected many people's lives and forever altered the world, yet it did not occur overnight. Many people are aware that the stock market crash was the culmination of a series of events that snowballed and finally led to a huge disaster. That snowballing is something I always consider. Every action I do is the conclusion of every other action I have performed leading up to that moment, and it will undoubtedly affect my future. My life would have been incomprehensibly different if I hadn't sat with a certain group on the first day of STEM classes in 8th grade.
I just bought a copy of Looking for Alaska, one of my favorite books. This is a typical coming-of-age young adult story. Is there anything exceptional here? No, yet I adore it. It has inspired everything I've done since reading it, but that's a topic for another day. For the time being, I'd want to discuss the supplementary material that came with my edition. In a Q&A segment, the author, John Green, discusses the work. He mentioned how 9/11 influenced the framework of the plot, with individuals dividing their life into two halves, before 9/11 and after. This contributed to the structure of X days before and after Alaska's death.
This made me question, what was the pivotal moment in my life? Who are the people whose lives have influenced mine? It didn't take much thought to choose the first day of the eighth-grade STEM program. The seeds were set in elementary school, but the most influential event was when I became actively involved and aware of the social structures and dynamics of those around me. I recall more about the years that followed that day than I do about the years that preceded it. My future as a whole was predetermined that day, my friends, my love life, my interests, my hobbies, my sexuality, and my principles.
Why am I thinking about this now? So, after considerable thought, I decided to drop out of university. It's a topic for another day, but it got me thinking, "How did I get here?" Every domino comes back to that time. Now, I don't feel too horrible about that time because it was my choices that led to the consequences, which I must accept whether I like them or not. But the effects aren't all awful. During my time as a university freshman, I met the most amazing group of people that I was grateful to call my friends. I remember all of the hijinks, but that's something I'll work out later. I still need to file out documents, move out, pay off my semester, and tell my friends how much I appreciate them. I paid for a sample of the future I desired since I was a child, but I couldn't go on. I assume that all good things must come to an end. Every idealist must finally come to terms with reality. It's regrettable but understood. It still hurts that I had to break up with my summer boyfriend; I felt like he was the only one who understood me.
I've been meaning to create a blog-style thing for a long while now, and now that I'm a full-time NEET, I have the opportunity to speak into the abyss because nobody in their right mind cares about my existence. To be honest, I'm not anything extraordinary. Nothing about me is well-known. I haven't made a substantial difference in the lives of anyone. I don't have any meaningful dreams or visions. I'm simply an ordinary Joe Schmoe, a schmuck. Right? So, why do I think of myself as a "weirdo"? That is a topic for another time. Thank you for spending your precious time in our world by reading the words on your screen. Later.